Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
