If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Your cock deserves a montage
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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