just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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