At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
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