Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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