I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
