Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
