First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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