The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize