Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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