if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
