The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
why do cheetos always look like penises
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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