My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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