There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
