There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
