haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
