But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
