I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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