SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
