Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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