4 words: hood of his car
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
