I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Randomize
