My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
