You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
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I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
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I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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