Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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