i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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