ADVERTISEMENT

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.

  Fav 17 850 2649

  share tweet
  

• (209): View more from California

  this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.

  Fav 27 9915 1123

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?

  Fav 23 5230 1033

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job

  Fav 14 2002 7672

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.

  Fav 8 2372 828

  share tweet
  

• (434): View more from Virginia

  High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.

  Fav 3 961 628

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.

  Fav 8 1829 1093

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.

  Fav 4 850 941

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean

  Fav 2 1845 632

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (361): View more from Texas

  I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff

  Fav 10 1577 724

  share tweet
  

• (+81): View more from

  He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????

  Fav 5 1325 548

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (585): View more from New York

  They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.

  (716): View more from New York

  So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?

  (585): View more from New York

  Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.

  Fav 6 898 601

  share tweet
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.

  Fav 1 379 527

  share tweet
  

• (802): View more from Vermont

  Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy

  Fav 2 44 58

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (440): View more from Ohio

  I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.

  Fav 0 30 11

  share tweet
  

Randomize