Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.

(352): View more from Florida

WHAT?!

(407): View more from Florida

He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.

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(407): So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch. (352): WHAT?! (407): He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking. http://tfl.nu/9qqv

Replies (6) Good night (752) Bad night (2446)
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(248): View more from Michigan

so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision

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(248): so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision http://tfl.nu/5juy

Replies (16) Good night (732) Bad night (3701)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.

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(314): I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook. http://tfl.nu/a58w

Replies (23) Good night (6929) Bad night (669)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.

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(570): He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom. http://tfl.nu/2ayy

Replies (5) Good night (833) Bad night (3432)
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(512): View more from Texas

Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.

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(512): Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor. http://tfl.nu/9a3p

Replies (17) Good night (6890) Bad night (1561)
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(940): View more from Texas

I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....

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(940): I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk.... http://tfl.nu/3fzx

Replies (18) Good night (2876) Bad night (908)
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(620): View more from Kansas

I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.

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(620): I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process. http://tfl.nu/qg86

Replies (10) Good night (4734) Bad night (805)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt

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(630): I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt http://tfl.nu/jrki

Replies (10) Good night (2949) Bad night (710)
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(352): View more from Florida

I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.

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(352): I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern. http://tfl.nu/54kf

Replies (16) Good night (3884) Bad night (932)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.

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(910): Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here. http://tfl.nu/sd9v

Replies (1) Good night (988) Bad night (349)
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(512): View more from Texas

I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?

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(512): I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day? http://tfl.nu/bpfn

Replies (4) Good night (934) Bad night (317)
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(646): View more from New York

He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished

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(646): He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished http://tfl.nu/jql6

Replies (6) Good night (418) Bad night (572)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.

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(908): I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf. http://tfl.nu/lxfv

Replies (2) Good night (553) Bad night (398)
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(586): View more from Michigan

The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."

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(586): The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON." http://tfl.nu/rycj

Replies (5) Good night (1134) Bad night (322)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth

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(775): I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth http://tfl.nu/2n2k

Replies (1) Good night (279) Bad night (765)

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