Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.

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  (818): i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore. http://tfl.nu/kjzo
  Replies (12) Good night (3864) Bad night (877)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn

  (706): View more from Georgia

  And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her

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  (706): Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn (706): And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her http://tfl.nu/b039
  Replies (49) Good night (3393) Bad night (794)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?

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  (860): she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that? http://tfl.nu/vpzp
  Replies (12) Good night (2630) Bad night (780)
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  (805): View more from California

  all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.

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  (805): all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl. http://tfl.nu/c5of
  Replies (14) Good night (945) Bad night (4096)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  "I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."

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  (440): "I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face." http://tfl.nu/mi59
  Replies (27) Good night (1268) Bad night (4251)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.

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  (843): The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson. http://tfl.nu/6x6n
  Replies (22) Good night (1756) Bad night (5688)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.

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  (502): I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap. http://tfl.nu/9a2a
  Replies (25) Good night (4492) Bad night (1606)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.

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  (813): So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer. http://tfl.nu/hmny
  Replies (5) Good night (1072) Bad night (3232)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.

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  (731): Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us. http://tfl.nu/v50h
  Replies (6) Good night (2975) Bad night (781)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.

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  (519): I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI. http://tfl.nu/5z2o
  Replies (6) Good night (1966) Bad night (693)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig

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  (406): we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig http://tfl.nu/68f1
  Replies (7) Good night (587) Bad night (1984)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.

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  (724): He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right. http://tfl.nu/6rqx
  Replies (7) Good night (651) Bad night (1213)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!

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  (918): Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter! http://tfl.nu/uf3h
  Replies (12) Good night (891) Bad night (1525)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life

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  (787): The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life http://tfl.nu/y1id
  Replies (2) Good night (293) Bad night (483)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks

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  (386): I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks http://tfl.nu/f8et
  Replies (2) Good night (919) Bad night (308)

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