I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
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The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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