Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize