So drunk its hurt
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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