I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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