god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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