Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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