He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize