Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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