yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
