Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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