It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
