If i come over, it means nothing
Are we in a gay sports bar?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
