He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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