i permit you to call me
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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