I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
