Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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