this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
