Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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