You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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