she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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