I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
