And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
