Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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