They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
