so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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