We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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