i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She's the barista slut.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
