i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
