He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
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She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
FUCK WHALES
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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