My friends, they love my intelligence
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
