Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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