And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
