As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
