How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
