I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
